I re-read this book in 2016, having originally read it back in 2005 when it came out. Roger Fisher is one of the authors of the classic book on negotiation “Getting to Yes”. This book deals with issue of emotions in negotiations - how to understand them and deal with them. Highly recommended.
Model
- Emotions are powerful, always present and hard to handle.
- Emotions:
- affect your body
- affect your thinking
- affect your behavior
- Take the initiative: don’t wait for emotions to happen then react.
- Address the concern, not the emotion.
Core concerns can be used as a lens to understand our emotions and those of others, and as a lever to stimulate positive emotions.
Five Core Concerns
- Appreciation: Your thoughts, feelings and actions are acknowledged as having merit.
- Affiliation: You are treated as a colleague.
- Autonomy: Others respect your freedom to decide important matters.
- Status: Your standing, where deserved, is given full recognition.
- Role: You so define your role and its activities that you find them fulfilling.
Decision Making Guidelines: I-C-N
- Inform
- Consult, then decide
- Negotiate joint agreement